All Entries in the "Advice, Tips & Help" Category

How do I save my marriage, when she doesnt seem interested in saving it?

Technically we are not married but have been in a committed relationship with a woman that I am madly in love with for just over ten years. We have two children ages 8, a girl and 6 a boy. We are both awesome parents. About 4 weeks ago I felt as though she was distancing herself from me, initially I had thought she might be having an affair. When I questioned her about it she became really upset but assured me there was no affair. I have always had a very good ability to tell when shes not being completely truthful or forthcoming. I believed her 100% and we made love over the next couple weeks that was as good as or better than it had ever been. Then she went on a trip out of the state to the town where she grew up. During her trip I became obsessed with the possibility that she may never come back. She seemed to ignore me when I would text and call and so thoughts of infidelity swirled around in my head again. On the last day of her trip we had a nice heart to heart in which she said I needed to stop acting weird. That I was her man and she wasn’t going anywhere. I felt relieved and couldn’t wait to see her when she got back. She got back, more welcome home lovemaking and all seemed right with the world. Two days later we were engaged in a conversation about our future wedding plans. We had to make a decision on deposits and what not. We decided not to give deposits and delay the day of our wedding. It was okay but it made me press her with the events of the last few weeks still strong in my mind I asked if we were making these decisions because we were being fiscally responsible or was there something else. I could tell by the look on her face she was holding something back. So I pressed again. “Are we okay?” is what I asked. She said “I don’t feel the same.”. “about what?” I asked. “About you” was her response. She said that she isn’t happy here and wants to move back to where she grew up. The long and the short of it is that she says she no longer loves me. She says that she loves who I am and as the dad to our kids but not as a mate or companion anymore. Devastated is the only word I can use to respond to the emotions I feel. Its been 6 days since she told me this and she had agreed to go to couples counseling. SCORE! It really gave me some hope and even though I had been sharing the same bed with her and really conducting our life as if nothing had happened, I have been an emotional wreck. My behaviors are erratic. One minute Im laughing and joking with her the next Im sobbing like a baby. So I had pretty much put my hope into counseling. She has a job that has amazing benefits and to her she is able to get 8 hour long sessions of counseling. So we had inquired about the sessions and out of the blue she told me yesterday that she is going to go to a session by herself first and then together. So now because of my erratic behavior I immediately begin to think that she wants to talk about me without me hearing it or wants to tell the therapist that she doesn’t really want to go to counseling and that shes just there to appease me. If I were in a rational state of mind I might actually be able to hold on to the idea that she may just be having a mid-life crisis and is directing her frustrations towards me, as has been suggested by friends. So I don’t know what to do. I sleep 3 hours a night if Im lucky, I haven’t eaten one piece of food in six days, I stopped smoking. I constantly have to bring our situation with her and I know without a doubt she is becoming increasingly frustrated with all my behaviors. I love her completely and with all my heart and would be willing to do anything to change her mind. I commend anyone getting through all this let alone actually leaving me an answer. Those of you that do however, I thank you.

Surviving infidelity website/forums :)?

Hmm, now I joined over a year ago and i posted a joke, I thought it was funny… but it was on the betrayed spouse forums so yeah not a good idea…the mods slaughtered me plus half of the bs’s

And I try and try and try to make an account… nope doesnt let me and I’m not blocked from there anymore, and from different computers too, I just want to give advice, I have helped my friends dealing with this and they turned out to thank me and feel better about themselves. But I can’t join :(, any suggestions?
No ready… I like that one… it’s funny.. you should read it, some posts are hilarious… the general ones.. dont go into bs or you’ll start crying.. i did :(

what do these lyrics to this song mean? i dont get it?

The Quiet Screaming by The Legion of Doom

I’m missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we’d have to speak,
And this bottle of beast
Is taking me home
I’m cuddling close
To blankets and sheets
But you’re not alone, and you’re not discreet
Make sure I know who’s taking you home.

I’m reading your note over again
And there’s not a word that I comprehend,
Except when you signed it
I will love you always and forever

I’m missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you’re as happy as you’re pretending.

I’m cuddling close
To blankets and sheets
and I am alone
In my defeat I wish I knew you were safely at home

I’m missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we’d have to speak,
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

We saw the western coast
I saw the hospital
Nursed the shoreline like a wound
Reports of lover’s tryst
Were neither clear nor descript
We kept it safe and slow
The quiet things that no one ever knows

So keep the blood in your head
And keep your feet on the ground
Today’s the day it gets tired
Today’s the day we drop down
Gave up my body and bed
All for an empty hotel
Wasting words on lower cases and capitals

Well as for now I’m gonna hear the saddest songs
And sit alone and wonder
How you’re making out
but as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone
Making out.

I’m missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you’re as happy as you’re pretending.

I’m missing your bed
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we’d have to speak,
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

and iiii….

So keep the blood in your head
And keep your feet on the ground
Today’s the day it gets tired
Today’s the day we drop down
Gave up my body and bed
All for an empty hotel
Wasting words on lower cases and capitals

So keep the blood in your head
And keep your feet on the ground
Today’s the day it gets tired
Today’s the day we drop down
Gave up my body and bed
All for an empty hotel
Wasting words on lower cases and capitals

(Your hair, it’s everywhere.
Screaming infidelities
And taking its wear.)

So keep the blood in your head
And keep your feet on the ground
Today’s the day it gets tired
Today’s the day we drop down
Gave up my body and bed
All for an empty hotel
Wasting words on lower cases and capitals

what are some signs for boy and girl babies?

i have a lot of cramping im my legs thay swell and are red in some parts….my face swells also and im FAT are these signs boy or girl

What was the drug situation at ur high school?

How easy was it for you to score drugs? did any of your friends do it? did it eveer get out of control? did u witness any drug dealings? if u wanted drugs, could you get it within the school? what type of drugs were at your school? how did the adminstration handle it?

I can answer yes to all of these questions when it comes to my school, my school is up into heroine and its scary seeing kids uve known since grade school get f’d up like that

Do you have any tips on how I can catch my girlfriend cheating?

I know she is cheating, for sure, I just need some tips on how to get her to confess it?