Clues That Your Partner Is Having An Affair. No need to be Sherlock Holmes.
46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair
Some of these signs of a cheating spouse are a bit “tongue in cheek” while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife. Do any of these ring a warning bell?
Signs of a Cheating Spouse:
VideoJug: Infidelity Detection
1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you’ve had a vasectomy.
2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)
3) Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.
4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn’t tell you about it.
5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.
6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.
7) She buys a cell phone and doesn’t let you know.
He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.
9) The cheating husband carries condoms, and you are on the pill.
10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.
11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.
12) He becomes “accusatory,” asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.
13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, “Do you think it’s possible to love more than one person at a time?”
14) He buys himself new underwear.
15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.
16) The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring.
17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.
18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.
19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.
20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.
21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.
22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.
23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.
24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work – but supposedly worked on those days.
25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.
26) Spouse’s co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.
27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.
28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.
29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress’s house and had to eat the dinner you prepared when he got home.
30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.
31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband’s shirt.
32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.
33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.
34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is “touchy” and easily moved to anger.
35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.
36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.
37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.
38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.
39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.
40) She has a “glow” about her.
41) Atypical erratic behavior.
42) He sneaks out of the house.
43) She sleeps with her purse by the bed.
44) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.
45) He tells you that you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.
46) The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
Brennan Kingsland | Oct 25, 2007 | Reply
I’d say #46 pretty much says it all.
Rowell | Oct 26, 2007 | Reply
Excellent video, Charlie
Now I know how to cheat and how not to get caught..
Tim Denio | Nov 3, 2007 | Reply
This is a great site! I agree with all the signs of a cheating spouse that you’ve mentioned here. One of the important things for anyone going through this very difficult situation is to not jump to any conclusions regarding your spouses’ possible infidelity.
The biggest mistake I see people making is to confront their partner simply based on suspicions, but without any proof of the affair. It is imperative that you get some real proof of the affair before you confront your partner, because failing that you will only face denial and alert your spouse that they need to be be more careful about their affair.
Bobby Rio | Nov 18, 2007 | Reply
#46 is so true. Thats always my advice.. Trust your gut…
Chris Davis | Nov 20, 2007 | Reply
46 clues that your partner is having an affair! By the end of the list that gut will tell you what your partner is up to and if it is time to seriously investigate your relationship, your partners activities or your own jealous thoughts! Time to get it done before a New Year is upon us!
Holly | Jul 11, 2008 | Reply
I do quite a few of these things and i am not cheating. its a good thing my husband didnt look at this site. i sleep by my purse, go grocery shopping for hours…smell like different things when i get home due to patients of mine…
Clive | Dec 14, 2009 | Reply
My wife has been very odd recently, I suspect an affair.
We got married 4 weeks ago and he whole thing for me has been an anti climax and now I look back over the past 2 months I have my suspicions:
My (now) wife has never been a typically girly girl who dressed up every day, most days she would put her hair up and not wear make up perfume or sexy cloths, unless we went out at night. I have always been on at her to make more of an effort on a day to day basis but she would not do it for me, we would go shopping or out for lunch and I would try to give constructive feedback and suggestions hoping she would make more of an effort for me but she never would.
Now all of a sudden she is getting up early for work and fixing her hair and make up, and wearing perfume – she never wore perfume. She’s dressing how I always wanted her to dress – high heels and sexy cloths and she even bought some really sexy knee high stiletto boots the other day, ive been asking her to for years. Problem is – she is not doing any of this for my enjoyment, only when she goes to work or out without me.
She went out recently with friends wearing a new dress, tight leggings and her new boots, she looked hot. I waited up for her to come home and opened the door to let her in – I had not even closed the door and the boots were off, then she went straight to bed. She must have known I was turned on but didn’t even give me chance to make a move.
When she goes places with me it’s the same old hair tied up no make up no perfume no effort. She does dress nice if I take her out on a date but I am suspicious of who she is making this new effort for on a daily basis.
She is also going out alot with work and friends and whenever she is at home all she does is sleep and go to bed early. I work shifts and sometimes get home at 10.30pm, she does not wait up for me any more.
We have sex about once every 2 months, she never brushes her teeth before bed and never seems prepared for sex at bed time, and she does not shower every day so I’m often put off by her smell down below. She makes fun of me calling me a ‘clean freak’, maybe I am a bit fussy about cleanliness but she knows that yet after 5 years together she still wont make more of an effort with her personal hygiene.
On the wedding night I had to practically beg for sex all she wanted to do was play on her phone, and then she just laid there making no effort and showing no interest so I stopped half way through, rolled over and went to sleep, she did not complain. She looked amazing on the day, really beautiful, but at the end of the night there were no stockings and sexy underwear for me, she didn’t even wear the garter she had. Again I felt that the effort made was for the benefit of everyone else and not for me.
I feel as though she is not interested in me anymore.
I don’t know what to do. Need I really ask the question – is she having an affair??
Charlie | Dec 15, 2009 | Reply
Woh! My opinion? If she’s not having an affair she’s certainly looking for one! Do some spying man, check her emails and texts and, once your fears are confirmed (as I’m sure they will be), get the heck away from her!
This is classic infidelity behaviour and alarm bells should be ringing loud and clear, my friend!
You may not be seeing those sexy stiletto boots the way you want but she’s walking all over you with them metaphorically speaking!!! Stop being a doormat, get a grip and assert yourself man!
Karl | Feb 2, 2010 | Reply
46 says it all.
Trust your own instinct.