June 11, 2009 | | Comments 0

Need Help in Confronting the Other Woman?

When you discover that your partner has engaged in acts of infidelity it is difficult to figure out who you are the angriest with. While your partner is entitled to the brunt of the blame, there are plenty of “other women” that were well aware of the fact that there was a serious and committed relationship in play before they showed up on the scene.Many women choose to take matters into their own hands and confront the other woman, very much like a mother lion protecting her own.

Most women need help in confronting the other woman. Do you charge at her like a bull on a rampage? Should you reason with her? This is an emotional issue and emotional issues usually run into emotional behavior. It’s very difficult to contain the anger, hurt, and the sense of betrayal you might feel when confronting the other woman. However, the more your can keep your emotions under wraps the more headway you are likely to make in two areas. First, you may very well glean some information that turns out to be valuable in your decision making process. Second, you might be able to come to terms with the other woman’s culpability.

Before you confront the other woman, decide what you want to get out of the deal. If you want to find out her motivations, her intentions, and her own personal knowledge of the relationship she is stepping into you will achieve your goal better if you have an actual goal. If you are just out to create a scene and vent your anger then you will most likely only have one confrontation that ends poorly. Venting your anger at the other woman isn’t really going to accomplish much. Unless you have her ear for days on end, there will always be more to say than you thought of at the moment of the confrontation.

Fortunately, there are ways to confront the other woman without blowing your sense of dignity or lunging toward a long winded but useless rampage. If she is willing, set up a meeting time with her so that you can enter the situation with some amount of organization. Make notes of the hot points and even questions that you want to put on the table during the confrontation. Let her know that you are willing to hear her out because you will most likely be able to be heard that way. If you both claim to love the same person, emotions will run harder but if you both agree to talk to each other like women you might be able to come away with a renewed sense of self and understanding regarding your relationship.

It is not uncommon for many confrontations to put the relationship in question into a new light. There may be information or thoughts that come to the surface that make you start to question whether being in a relationship with someone who was so willing to step out is something that you really want to involve yourself in. In many cases, the other woman ends up just as behind the proverbial “love eight ball” as you, just in different ways. Confronting the other woman may or may not get you what you want, but you are almost always guaranteed a new perspective if you can keep your head during the confrontation.

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