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Coping with Online Infidelity

Coping with online infidelity is a relatively new concept. In the time before the internet an affair took up a great deal of time and energy and had to be meticulously planned out in order to be successful.

These days anyone can jump onto the internet and find someone who will at least perform sexual activities if not get more involved. I have even been propositioned in chat rooms designed for parenting advice!

There is no right way to deal with online infidelity. Your partner may or may not even recognize that they are cheating on you, at least not outwardly.

Yet they know that it was something that wasn’t quite right. Only once have I heard of a partner sharing the infidelity with a partner as though it was a trip to the grocery store because he really didn’t believe he was being unfaithful.

Sniper Spy

According to several recent polls, most couples will try to repair the relationship after online cheating has erupted into the relationship’s reality. However, this is only the case when the two (the cheater and whoever they have met online) have not actually met in person. That one step seems to cross an imaginary line in most people’s minds that take it to the next step of cheating. Like flirting with someone regularly online wasn’t? It depends on your point of view. Many would say that flirting in real life is harmless if there is no intention of it going farther than that.

It really doesn’t matter what most couples do. What matters is how you feel and what you believe is right for you and your relationship. I once judged cheating on any level very harshly until I met a few people whom I thought the world of and found out later that they had at one time committed one or more acts of infidelity.

I was a die hard “be faithful or get out” idealist. Knowing others who have had their own struggles opened my eyes to the fact that we all do what we feel we need to in order to care for ourselves and those we love. An affair generally eats up the adulterer more than the faithful partner. In fact, many adulterers simply can not get over their guilt and that is what ends up killing the relationship.

As you and your partner try to figure out where to go from the moment you find out about the cheating online to the final decision, try to look at things from as many different viewpoints as possible. Your inner voice and your standards are the ones that will come into play. You don’t have to try to “win back” a cheating partner nor do you have to meekly accept a partner’s online infidelity. You have to be okay with yourself and your relationship. Without that, you really don’t have much to go on.

So as you start considering the options, making a decision to do what is right for you regardless of the opinions of others will help you keep you on a steadier, realistic course.

Leaving your relationship to “stand up for your manhood” or to “demand respect” doesn’t really work. Leaving a relationship because you feel that is the best way to deal with online infidelity is fine. Proving a point by destroying the relationship isn’t likely to prove much of a point at all.

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