April 28, 2009 | | Comments 0

How To Cope With A Suspected Cheater

Cheating is all too common in relationships. It is unfortunate, but in many cases, it is true. However, there are times when jealousy can cloud a person’s vision, making them envision their spouse’s infidelity based on unfounded feelings. So, how should you cope if you suspect your spouse is cheating?

First of all, don’t jump to conclusions. Observe your spouse’s behavior. How has their behavior changed? Ask yourself what makes you think that your spouse is cheating, and make sure that your reasoning is rational. Be honest with yourself. If you are normally a jealous and insecure person, make certain that you are not overreacting. Take it one-step at a time. Watch how your spouse acts around you and others.

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If your spouse is cheating on you, here are a few signs that they may be exhibiting:

A cheating spouse may start spending more and more time away from you. They will probably make excuses to go out, and probably exclude you from their plans.

A cheating husband or wife may seem detached or disinterested with you, with the kids, and home life in general.

A cheating partner may become defensive if you question them about something, even something seemingly innocent; if a question can relate to their potential infidelity, it may cause them to appear “snappy”.

If your somebody is cheating, they may start to take more of an interest in their appearance. Maybe they’ll start dressing better when they go out, they’ll put on perfume or aftershave, they’ll start working out; whatever it is — they will likely work to improve some physical attribute so as to appear more attractive to their new partner.

Usually, a cheating spouse becomes more secretive. They will answer the phone in another room, they’ll clear their cell phone’s text-message history, they’ll erase their internet browsing sessions, and they’ll give you ambiguous answers if you ask them who they were talking to.

A cheating husband may start coming home late or leaving for work earlier. They also may start working weekends or working days off for no apparent reason.

It is important to note, though, that these are not steadfast guarantees of cheating. Sometimes, any of life’s ups or downs cause us to react in one way or another, and the “signs” of a cheating partner that you’re seeing are simply your spouse’s reaction to their life at the moment. Now, it’s also important that you are not foolish, either. If you suspect your spouse is cheating — become observant.

Pay attention to what your spouse is doing, and try not to let on that you think that they are cheating. As you are concerned about your spouse, you should notice these changes, but do not show them that you are hurt, because truthfully, you don’t have any proof that they are, in fact, cheating on you. You may want to confront your spouse on your suspicions, but it is best to wait until you have proof of infidelity before confronting them — a false accusation can be as damaging as the act of cheating itself.

So, how do you prove your spouse is cheating? Use a recorder. Leave a recorder on while you go out and your spouse is at home to see if you catch any information. Make sure it is in a place where it will not be noticed or appear as if it was left on purposely. If your spouse is making a habit of going out regularly or running to the store quite often, follow them. If you can’t follow them yourself, have someone that you trust keep an eye on those regular trips. If all else fails, hire a private detective — private investigators can catch infidelity, and offer up definitive proof so that you can confront your spouse.

If your spouse is, in fact, cheating on you, and you have the proof — then you can confront them. Jumping to conclusions, and especially if you accuse your spouse of cheating on you when they really aren’t, is a good way to risk irreparable harm to your marriage over a simple misunderstanding.

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