June 17, 2007 | | Comments 3

Is He Married ? Poll Says 1 In 3 Is Lying!

OK, so you’re on the dating site, you’ve checked your posts, and have been contacted by a few men expressing interest. You check out their profiles and there’s one that sounds just right, ticks all your boxes so you e-mail him back and before you know it your discussing getting together.

But what are the chances he’s married already? Is that really him in the photo? (Hey! This works both ways – for ‘he’ read ‘she’ too)…

Are They Who They Say They Are?According to most guestimates it’s 1 in 3 are faking it! On top of that another 1 in 3 are in relationships and looking for someone new or a fling. If he IS already married but isn’t being upfront about it what are the chances of having an honest relationship with him? So how do you find out if he has a wife at home?

Well you could ask outright at the outset, maybe stating that you’d heard that many men were pretending to be single on dating sites and making it quite clear that as far as you’re concerned this would be quite unacceptable. Living apart from his wife i.e. being separated does NOT mean he is single but maybe he thinks it does. Only being truly single i.e. never married or divorced cuts it!

What are the signs that he might be married or in a relationship? Is he simply a ‘Player’ looking for some quick conquest and then Adios?

If he won’t give you his home number – always a mobile or work number then that’s suspicious. If he says it’s best to call him at work something could be wrong.

Mens Divorce Tactics

OK, first dates are usually one-on-one in neutral territory and ‘meeting the family’ can seem quite a big step in any relationship but have you met any of his friends yet?

Is he free in talking about his education, work life, recent vacations and current living arrangements, is he happy to give you his address? Or does he avoid talking about these subjects in any depth.

Does he phone at the last minute to cancel a date or meeting? If says he works a 9 to 5 why can’t he meet you for dinner on any day of the week? Does he cook for himself or eat out often alone or with friends – that’s what single guys do. Or is someone else giving him his dinners?

Watch out too for his broaching the risky subjects of ‘open relationships’ or ‘wanting to take things slowly’ (stating he’s been hurt before) these could be leading up to the day when he lets slip that he’s unhappily (naturally!) married and that his wife doesn’t understand him and they are platonicaly staying together for the kids alone. You know the cliches!

But by that stage you could be in too deep and in love. So much so you are prepared to forgive his lying to you about his marital status and prepared to accept being the ‘other woman’.

When you like someone, especially at the beginning of a relationship, you are often too quick in giving them the benefit of the doubt. A good ‘Player’ can be very accomplished at allaying your concerns about his life when you’re not around

So if you truly want to find out if he’s already married do so early by doing some research. There’s nothing wrong in checking him out for a criminal record is there, would you not check out his references if he’d asked to borrow money? Of course you would! So check out if he’s been married, or is still married. after the first introductory date and before the third.

Does his address and hone numbers tally with the name he’s given you. He won’t give you his address? BIG question mark there right?

Whatever your reasons for using an online dating site to find a new partner you owe it to yourself ( before you get in too deep) that they are who they say they are, live where they say they live and are the real McCoy. The majority are! Just don’t get ripped off by the minority who don’t have your best interests at heart.

Mens Divorce Tactics

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  1. as a ‘Player’ I do my research – this site being a new place to checkout from time to time . Best new for me is that nothing u say here will affect my success rate ;-)

  2. Good advice here – check up on a new guy totally – once you’re convinced THEN trust him! Guys lie it’s their nature!

  3. Hey Clare it ain’t just guys that lie – have you been on a dating site recently? Best you can hope for is that 70% of the photos are genuine I reckon!

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