July 15, 2009 | | Comments 1

What is Online Infidelity? Does it really exist?

What is the difference between a little harmless online flirting and actual online infidelity? The information age brought with it a great many moral questions that have been difficult for people to answer, and this one ranks up there with the top five questions.

Online infidelity usually looks like any other form of online interaction, except that the emotional engagement is much higher. Flirting isn’t an emotional entanglement. An actual online affair, however, is likely to elicit stronger emotions and even emotional anguish during the process. The level of personal commitment to the online relationship can be the single biggest key factor in determining whether there is an online affair in the works or if there is just some simple flirtatious behaviors tracking the pair of chatters.

Online infidelity can cause more problems in many relationships than the old fashioned infidelity. Because there are so many grey areas when it comes to discovering exactly what online infidelity really is, the two people in the primary relationship often don’t even agree that there has been an infraction of trust or inappropriate behavior going on. Furthermore, many people hold the belief that the only way to be unfaithful is the have an actual sexual affair that involves two physically connecting bodies.

Emotional intimacy is often much deeper and more meaningful that mere sex, and since an strong emotional connection can be developed online, it is quite possible for someone to engage in online infidelity without ever touching the third party. When the emotional connection is strong enough to pull you away from your primary relationship, you are shortchanging the primary relationship. Thus, you are in fact, engaging in an emotional affair. So how can you break out of this cycle?

Facilitating an affair via a keyboard doesn’t make it any less painful for the partner who has remained faithful. The internet is just the methodology but it is not the cause. The cause comes from the person eliciting the online affair. Online cheating starts because two people are looking for an exciting emotional connection that can make them feel like they are truly falling in love. After all, falling in love is a very joyful experience that can change your entire outlook on life and where you are going with your life. That special excitement can make it easier to get out of bed in the morning, can make your own sex life with your primary partner much more intense (even though they have become just a stand in all of a sudden) and can make you feel sexy and attractive.

Many of us judge ourselves through the eyes that other people see us. When we engage in an online affair, we aren’t looking for someone to take us to the next level of we aren’t ready. We want to be desirable even in our anonymity. These feelings can make daily life more fun, exciting, and taken in stride with a better sense of self esteem. After all, you are being told that you are a truly worthwhile and amazing individual by the new affair. You are being told that you are highly worthy of the time and attention of other people that might outrank your partner in physical attractiveness.

Online infidelity is not the easiest place to come back from. Some couples split while other couples opt to work it out to the best of their abilities. If you’re dealing with online infidelity than the best you can do is to make decisions that are in your own best interest.

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  1. I’m a private investigator and I do a lot of domestic infidelity investigations. i have found the best way to catch a cheating spouse is an Online Infidelity investigation. that’s where we take your spouses email address and trace it back to a secret personal ad or secret social networking site like facebook or myspace.

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