What’s cheating and what isn’t?
I was reading in the ‘What makes you happy’ blog about what the definition of infidelity is. For example look at this list and ask which of these you would consider as cheating:
1. Paying a prostitute for (safe) sex.
2. Having sex with someone from the office at a drunken office party…
3. Having sex with someone from the office while at work
4. Having sex with a woman you just met in a bar after an argument at home
5. Having sex with a woman you just met in a bar while away from home
6. Having phone/text/cybersex with someone you will never meet
7. Having phone/text/cybersex with someone you do meet
8. Meeting someone for a drink who your partner does not like but they do not know
9. Meeting someone for a drink who your partner does not like and you lied about the meeting
10. Holding hands with someone else in public when your partner is not around
11. Oral sex on another
12. Oral sex from another
13. Thinking of someone else while having sex with your partner
14. Buying secret gifts for someone else
15. Sending secret texts to someone else
16. Telling someone of the opposite sex all your secrets and your feelings about your partner but without touching them at all
17. Kissing someone else passionately
18. Buying flowers for someone else but not telling your partner
19. Buying flowers for someone else who your partner does not like and not telling your partner
You’ll see that many of the examples involve sex but quite a few do not. It’s an interesting exercise to ask yourself what on the list you would find most hard to forgive or those that you simply couldn’t.
Hilary Clinton forgave Bill for his sexual escapades with Monica (#12) but if he’d shared his most intimate thoughts on Hilary herself (#16) with another woman? That would have really pissed Hilary off even more I think!
The answer of course is different for everybody and it’s the person who’s being cheated on, the victim, that ultimately decides what is cheating and what isn’t. What do you think? What’s forgivable and what isn’t?
jgmith | Jun 7, 2007 | Reply
All of it would make me want to leave a relationship – I dont care if it’s a drunken fling or not – get lost if I’m not the only one !!!!
pauli22 | Jun 7, 2007 | Reply
NO WAY could I forgive the actual ‘sex’ ones but texting? Come on how real is THAT! It’s just fantasy stuff if there’s no physical contact
clarissa | Jun 7, 2007 | Reply
Apart from #18 and #19 they’re HISTORY!
johnathan | Jun 7, 2007 | Reply
I disagree – the sexual stuff, especially if fuelled by booze or drugs is kind of pathetic but forgivable.
It’s the holding hands and sharing secrets that would get me as that would show that there was more to the relationship than just humping !
sheila.macfee | Jun 7, 2007 | Reply
Do you know that #13 is possibly the worst and the one you’ll never be able to prove
Bob | Jun 8, 2007 | Reply
Don’t “drink and Drive” then you won’t let your guard down.
crankyguy | Jun 9, 2007 | Reply
It all sounds good to me – Yay cheaters!
lily | Sep 3, 2008 | Reply
i nd help i think mi partnerz cheatin me