What’s cheating and what isn’t?

Posted on June 7, 2007 
Filed Under Can it be true?

I was reading in the ‘What makes you happy‘ blog about what the definition of infidelity is. For example look at this list and ask which of these you would consider as cheating:

1. Paying a prostitute for (safe) sex

2. Having sex with someone from the office at a drunken office party

3. Having sex with someone from the office while at work

4. Having sex with a woman you just met in a bar after an argument at home

5. Having sex with a woman you just met in a bar while away from home

6. Having phone/text/cybersex with someone you will never meet

7. Having phone/text/cybersex with someone you do meet

8. Meeting someone for a drink who your partner does not like but they do not know

9. Meeting someone for a drink who your partner does not like and you lied about the meeting

10. Holding hands with someone else in public when your partner is not around

11. Oral sex from you

12. Oral sex on you

13. Thinking of someone else while having sex with your partner

14. Buying secret gifts for someone else

15. Sending secret texts to someone else

16. Telling someone of the opposite sex all your secrets and your feelings about your partner but without touching them at all

17. Kissing someone else passionately

18. Buying flowers for someone else but not telling your partner

19. Buying flowers for someone else who your partner does not like and not telling your partner

You’ll see that many of the examples involve sex but quite a few do not. It’s an interesting exercise to ask yourself what on the list you would find most hard to forgive or those that you simply couldn’t.

Hilary Clinton forgave Bill for his sexual escapades with Monica (#12) but if he’d shared his most intimate thoughts on Hilary herself (#16) with another woman? That would have really pissed Hilary off even more I think!

The answer of course is different for everybody and it’s the person who’s being cheated on, the victim, that ultimately decides what is cheating and what isn’t. What do you think? What’s forgivable and what isn’t?


Comments

8 Responses to “What’s cheating and what isn’t?”

  1. PlugIM.com on June 7th, 2007 2:25 pm

    Whats cheating and what isnt …

    What cheating behaviour would you forgive and which would you never get over? Intimacy isn’t always a sexual thing what if he tells her all your secrets?…

  2. jgmith on June 7th, 2007 6:40 pm

    All of it would make me want to leave a relationship - I dont care if it’s a drunken fling or not - get lost if I’m not the only one !!!!

  3. pauli22 on June 7th, 2007 6:42 pm

    NO WAY could I forgive the actual ’sex’ ones but texting? Come on how real is THAT! It’s just fantasy stuff if there’s no physical contact

  4. clarissa on June 7th, 2007 7:56 pm

    Apart from #18 and #19 they’re HISTORY!

  5. johnathan on June 7th, 2007 8:02 pm

    I disagree - the sexual stuff, especially if fuelled by booze or drugs is kind of pathetic but forgivable.

    It’s the holding hands and sharing secrets that would get me as that would show that there was more to the relationship than just humping !

  6. sheila.macfee on June 7th, 2007 9:29 pm

    Do you know that #13 is possibly the worst and the one you’ll never be able to prove

  7. Bob on June 8th, 2007 5:15 am

    Don’t “drink and Drive” then you won’t let your guard down.

  8. crankyguy on June 9th, 2007 1:19 am

    It all sounds good to me - Yay cheaters!

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