October 21, 2011 | | Comments 0

You Asked About: Can You Ever Trust A Cheating Husband Again

Mary asks…

If my cheating husband promise to work things out, can I trust him again?

My husband is currently deployed for 15 months. A month and a half before he deployed, he started acting really distant and constantly spoke of this girl… let’s just call her “Mary.” I got suspicious, so I checked his email and found three-days worth of messages, and apparently phone calls, between the two of them. (Turns out, they dated a few years back) The messages started out innocent, but by the end of it, my husband confessed to her that he’s happy with me, but “sometimes I wish I could be with you.” Then he said, “who knows… one day it may work out after all.” This led to a HUGE distruption in our marriage. Since he’s been deployed, I haven’t been able to speak to anyone about this… including him. I know he’s very stressed where he is, so I try to make him feel like everything is “good” back home. When we talked about it, he told me he didn’t know what he was thinking and he would never, ever do that to me again. Can I trust that? I need advice because I’m still hurting.
Thank you so much for all of your answers and support. My husband and I have been married for about a year and a half– we got married very young too. Before we even got married, I found he had been talking to a different girl… but for a much longer period of time. So trust has always been an issue for me. He only confessed that to me several days ago, in fact. It’s two strikes already, and I’m afraid that he is not being sincere with me.

Chas answers:

Yeah it sounds like you can trust him. Its not like he was actually screwing this girl anyways, and he seems really sorry. You should try to get past this and be supportive of his deployment, cause if you keep dwelling on this transgression of his you are just going to end up ruining your marriage completley. This is still very fixable, if you are willing to try.

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