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September 10, 2011 | | Comments 0

You Asked About: How To Find Out If My Spouse Is Cheating

Charles asks…

What happened when your spouse found out you were cheating?

I’m not cheating, but my husband cheated on me, (for 3 years) He’s not seeing the other woman anymore but he wants my hurt and anger to be “over with”. That’s impossible. How have your spouses reacted when they found out you were cheating. Anger, hate, hurt, crying? what? and how long did it take to heal? (if it has)

Chas answers:

If you go see a good marriage counselor — he/she will tell you that you BOTH need to work together to get past the feelings — the anger, hurt, and the betrayed trust. That is not just YOUR job. He did the crime, now he has to contribute to your healing process…..His wanting your feelings to be “over” is really nice for him — but impractical and insensitive towards you on his behalf. I would seriously wonder if he has respect for you — and your feelings….I don’t think that you should listen to anyones’ “time” as to how long it took….all circumstances are different. If he cannot be sensitive —- he should realize that you are doing him a FAVOR in forgiving him….I also think that if you don’t work on the true reason that he needed to “step outside” the marriage (and if he isn’t 100% honest about how/why his needs weren’t getting met) that the whole situation is useless.

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