April 16, 2011 | | Comments 0

You Asked About: Is My Husband Having An Affair Lover

Charles asks…

I’ve been having an affair for and I’m divorcing my husband: Will it be a good idea to commit to my boyfriend?

Wednesday, I had asked a question and explained the situation with my husband.

Quick recap: I’ve been married to a man for almost 40 years and gave birth to four children who are all grown now. My husband has cheated in the past. He put his career before me prior to his retirement. All of that made me fall out of love with him and in 2007, I found love with a younger man while still married to my husband. On Wednesday morning, my husband discovered my affair. We fought. I left and decided to stay with my cousin and her husband for a few days to clear my head.

Anyway, I just spent the entire yesterday with my lover. He took me out for breakfast and we spent the whole day at his place, talking, watching television and making love. I told him about the fight between me and my husband. My lover comforted me when I started crying and he told me that he loves me and wants to be with me. My husband really hurt my self-esteem because he thinks that my lover will never commit himself to me because I’m “unattractive” and I have nothing to offer him. Maybe he’s just jealous but it still hurt my feelings. I’ve been a housewife for the past 40 years. I finished high school but I have no college education. My only job was cooking, cleaning and raising our kids. Does it sound sincere when my lover said he wants to be with me and only me? I’m 57 years old and he’ll be 41 in July. I love him so much. But look at me.

What is the name of that black lady who starred in “How Stella Got Her Groove Back”? That is a beautiful, sexy woman and she can’t be much younger than me. But I’m no Stella. I’m quite plain looking and I have no job either. My lover sees all of this and knows it, should I take that as a sign that this may amount to something real? Advice please?

Chas answers:

Things do not always turn out the way you want them to, your playing the lottery with your life.

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