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June 28, 2011 | | Comments 0

You Asked About: Is Online Dating Cheating

Robert asks…

If you have a boy/girlfriend, is online-dating cheating?

I don’t use myspace, but recently made a profile. To make a long story short, on my boyfriend’s profile, there were many many MANY comments from a specific girl, with messages that I think are unacceptable to be giving to a man with a girlfriend. He must not have minded, though, or he would have deleted them and not have accepted her friendship. The messages spanned a long time, thanking him for gifts he mailed, talking about plane tickets, “I love you,” some sexual comments I won’t mention, etc. From the comments, it seems that they had quite a relationship. The comments calmed down, but all of them took place in a span of 4 months, all of which that we were together. It’s been almost a year since the comments.
Has it been too long for me to question, even though we WERE together during that time?
Is it silly to be concerned/upset/hurt over stupid comments on a website?
And does onlinedating (if that’s what they were doing “count” as cheating, in your book?
Just so you know — I did just find out, tonight. I wanted to know if asking about comments on myspace would be pathetic. =/ I sure feel it..

Thanks for the advice guys.

Chas answers:

I believe online dating aside from a relationship is just as much cheating as…”real-life” dating…however, almost a year is a long time. That said, its also a long time in which the same thing could have been occuring still. True…it might be he fell even deeper in love with you and that’s why the comments ceased. In which case if you ask him about it, hopefully you guys are at the stage where even if he did get offended, nothing big would come from it. Afterall, trust is everything in a relationship. Its not silly to ask him. Be concerned, show him you’re concerned. If he flilps out, thats all him. Thats a red flag as well. Not to be pessimistic…it is also just as like for him to have found another online profile thing that you are not aware of, like facebook of something, that he could be keeping this kind of thing going. It is a digital age and alot of stuff can be accomplished with computers.

I say ask him. If he’s offended, tell him you’re offended. He was wrong in what he did, and if he truely wasn’t, he’ll have a plausible alibi.

One thing though…if you JUST found out about it….DEFINATELY raise hell. I would. If you found out about it awhile ago…why did you wait?…….

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