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July 18, 2011 | | Comments 0

You Asked About: Is She Having An Affair Signs

Richard asks…

Am I being suspicious or does this sound like an affair?

I feel stupid asking this because I should know my mother more than the internet. I just want to know from someone who doesn’t know my family life if this is suspicious. I think my mum is having an affair, my parents don’t love one another anymore and that is very apparent these are things that make me think she is:

1) I found condoms (plus other things) in a draw in my parents room (They probably aren’t my parents because I heard an argument about them not sleeping together)
2) My mum goes on weekends away and on training days. But with named friends that I know exist however I always hear discussed after school when my mother has a day off and my dad is still at work. She hangs up casually about 10 minutes after we arrive.
4) My mother constantly texts people when we are watching TV and always has her phone one her.
5) I once came home and the door was locked and when my mum let me in she was frantic and making up excuses, and the bed was messy.

This is classic affair signs right?

What should I do… leave my mum to it (my dad doesn’t love her why shouldn’t she be loved)?
Or confront her?
Or tell Dad?
Or find out more first?

Please help, really confused…
So i deleted a bit of 5) she was in there with another man. That was important.
and 1) I was looking for some new deodorant. I thought there may be some in her drawers as she keeps them there.

Trust me I know my parents are not in love and the condoms were in date.

Chas answers:

Oh dear. This sounds like a difficult situation for you, but before I give you my answer, I just wonder if you have really thought about why you want to know so badly? If you “know” that your mum and dad do not love each other any more, and you “know” that they no longer have a sexual relationship any more, it may be that your mum and dad have an arrangement, where they are each free to see other people, but do not want to break the family up by divorcing.

If I were you though, I would just sit down with your mum one day and have a conversation with her, along the lines of “if you and dad didn’t love each other any more, do you think you would ever love anyone again”. You might be able to tease something out of her that way, but don’t forget, that once opened, this is a can of worms that you won’t be able to close again.

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