May 14, 2011 | | Comments 0

You Asked About: Signs Of Wife Having An Affair

Sharon asks…

How to cancel off an engagement having photo & video proof?

Hi..!! I was engaged in march, and the marriage is supposed to be held in september. Since i felt no bonding building-up with the girl, by the month of may, i conveyed to my parents and the girl’s side of my feeling disinterest towards the marriage. To which the girl’s father, his relatives and his friends/close ones, initially started harassing us. They started spoiling my social image by passing baseless statements among themselves and also my relatives, initially saying things like, I have told the girl that I have an affair and that, my so called girlfriend, shall came to my house anytime after marriage at her will. Later they said, I told the girl that I am already married and that after marriage the girl had to adjust with my other, so called wife, and that I have so many girlfriends. They had also threatened me of my life as well. After such harassment also we haven‘t taken any legal action so far. Somehow the girl’s father has agreed but has asked us to give him a signed and written document stating that the cancelling of the betrothal was not ‘cos of any faults or shortcoming on his daughter, so that she can find a better mate later, to which we readily agreed. We also request the same to be given to us as well in the best interest of the future of both of us. We also request to state in the agreement that both families have no issues and that it is mutually understood and have no disputes whatsoever in calling this engagement off, to safeguard ourselves. They have also asked for compensation towards the expenses incurred for the engagement ceremony, and we have agreed to pay, as a measure of goodwill. For now, the mental harassment has stopped, but it seems it is only till the signing off, after that I fear of my social image being spoiled by them. My other concern is about the photo and video proofs. Initially both agreed that at the time of signing off of the agreement those proofs will be disposed off then and their itself so that its not misused in future. Now they changed their mind and want it to be handed over to a third part’s custody who also happens to a friend from girl’s side, now that also is our concern. We have so far taken no legal action keeping in mind the girl’s future and fully cooperating with them whatsoever. We want the signing off of the agreement to conducted peaceful and that the engagement proofs gets disposed off so that it is not misused in any ways in future from both the sides.
I want this agreement to be legally supportive enough, keeping in mind the, any possible legal action in future, if necessary.
How can I safeguard the social image of myself and my family?
How can both of us get rid of the engagement proof, without handing it over to one of their friends, in the best possible way in a way it is not misused in future?
Please advice.

Chas answers:

Dear Friend,

From your explanation it is clear that you were not keen in the marriage, and more over you cannot expect any bonding to happen in just 2 to 3 months time, it takes years to make a bond and within this time you felt that you cannot bear more and broke the relationship.
This is where you made a falut, have you not thought of the consequences of this act earlier as the result will affect everyone both in your as well as their family also. Now you clearly know that you have made a mistake by entering into an engagement.
Why do you think that the girls side should not punish you, i would have done the same if she was my sister.
Now when the decision is been made then try to accept all its consequences. Do you mean to say a mere photo and video can spoil you life, it may not and you also know that, dont fear for anything for its you who have taken this decision and also dont run back on the decision made.
The causes for your decision may be many, but stick to it and try to face any problems arising out of it. Remember this problems will not be forever and upon knowing your decision the girls parents will not even force you to marry thier daughter, then why are you worrying for? Try to see that you are not creating any problem for them for which you have to pay more, dont do any foolish things, go along with others decision and make a peaceful ending, to me this can be the only soultion.
And never try to play like this to again. Be specific to what you need and want.

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